Updated: Dec 6, 2020
I've had several articles published across multiple humor websites and thought it would be good to have a place I could refer someone for all published works. Surprise! This is the place! I will continually update as necessary.
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One of the first questions I get when I tell people I am a writer is logically, "What kind of things do you write?"
The answer varies from day-to-day. But generally, the answer is everything from TV pilots to books. Anything as an avenue to tell jokes. But having a blog that no one reads really allows me the opportunity to expand on that.
Since I decided to dedicate a little bit more of my time to making this a career, I set a few goals. One of those being to get something published (ideally = my novel, realistically = a short humor/satire piece). So, lately, I've been writing short satirical humor pieces and submitting them to websites that occasionally post them on their sites and more often send very polite rejection emails.
Success! I recently had one of my pieces published. (https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/kid-review-ranking-the-carpool-option-on-the-block). It doesn't change anything, but it was nice to achieve one of my goals. The whole process is a bit subjective, and someone told me it never tends to be your favorite or best work that they choose. But hey take what you can get. Inevitably, I've accumulated a few unpublished articles that need a home and I will be posting them here. They are generally something I think up one day and spend a few hours writing with very little time coming in the editing process. They are supposed to be one-off, fun ideas not meant to be any type of window into my psyche.
So to answer the question posed in the title: I've been alternating between these short pieces, random short story ideas, scripts for TV pilots, and edits to by book.
In my next post I'll probably dive deeper into my manuscript and what I'm trying to do with it or maybe I'll have given up my dream of writing by then. And in that case, there will be no follow up post.
Good day.
Rank 1st or 2nd: Episode 3 is your favorite of all the star wars movies you say?
This person has a fear of conformity, they are pathological liars, and they wear beanies and scarves in 100-degree weather. This hipster so badly wants to be an individual to the point they will pass out and die of heatstroke. By exclaiming, “the original trilogy was good, but it needed more Opera scenes”, what they are really saying is, “I grew up with multiple older siblings and I just want to be noticed.”
Other things this person might say: “Spiderman 3 is the best Spiderman movie.” “I only drink wine that was grown in North Dakota.” “Mom, look at all my accomplishments. Do you love me now?”
Rank 3rd-5th: It’s definitely the best non-prequel or maybe even better than Return of the Jedi
This is a person of sophistication and discerning taste. They aren’t afraid to be an individual but don’t do it to prove a point or to make themselves feel better. This intellect can be a snob and a bit condescending. They will judge you if you say things like, “my favorite wine is Red,” or “Beyonce is a better singer than Whitney Houston.”
Other things this person might say or think: “Does JJ Abrahams think we’re stupid?” “I realize Olive Garden isn’t authentic, but their breadsticks are transcendent.” “I like the taste of pineapple, but don’t like the texture.”
Rank 6th-8th: It’s a prequel so it must be bad
Sheep! Bahhhh! You Sheep! Have an original opinion. This lemming afraid to be different and, much like the Jedi, are afraid of their own feelings. They have Rotten Tomatoes bookmarked on their browser just in case they need to know what to think The word basic is often used to describe this person behind their back.
Other things this person might say: “The Avengers movies should win all of the Oscars.” “Breaking Bad is my favorite TV show.” “My spirit animal is a dog.”
Rank 9th or 10th: Oh really?
Some people just want to watch the world burn. Much like Jar Jar Binks, this person’s ineptitude will lead to chaos and destruction. This troll is similar to the person who says Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith was their favorite movie, but they have had some trauma in their life. If you see this person, give them a hug and tell them everything will be okay. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering
Other things this person might comment anonymously on twitter: “MAGA”
No Rank: Never Seen Star Wars
Serial Killer. Run!
Other things this person might say: “Any last words?”
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