How To Prepare for the Impending Apocalypse [New Article]
I have a new piece published on Slackjaw. This is not the piece, but instead a link and some context. Feel free to pop over for a read and come back...I'll wait. (Read here)
You back yet?
When I woke up a couple of weeks ago the California sky was a deep orange. As someone obsessed with doom, I may spend more time thinking about the terrible state of the world in the year 2020 than you. People who are more optimistic than I, may see 2020 as a speed bump in an otherwise perfect existence. I envy the [pick a word: optimist, ignorant, hopeful, delusional]. It's easy to ignore politics, an invisible disease, your ever-expanding waist size, but it's much harder to ignore natural disasters (or even gender reveal related disasters).
So when I woke up and a blanket a smoke blocked out the already elusive bay area sun, I did what I do best. I wrote an absurd preparation guide inspired by every post-apocalypse movie trope I could think of. (Shout out Walking Dead, Mad Max, The Book of Eli, Wall-E.)
The article serves two diametrically opposed purposes. First to use humor and exaggeration to point out how unlikely disaster really is. Nothing really matters so let's make jokes. The second purpose is to ironically mock the normalization of tragedy and disaster to show how serious the state of the world truly is. But I wrote the whole thing in about 20 minutes on my phone so...laugh at the jokes and move on.
FYI: the plethora of fires didn't burn down California this time. So, maybe bookmark the guide for the next inevitable disaster.